My story

How does a shy conservative evangelical Christian bent become a socially progressive relationship and sex coach who preaches the spirituality of erotic innocence? 

Honestly, I still wonder myself sometimes!

I’ve always been a mystical, naturey, little psychic thing. The most spiritual part of bible camp for me was dipping my toes in the pond in the early morning mist. I felt God the most in the breeze off of Lake Superior. And the whole cognitive belief part of that kind of christianity perplexed me.

But, of course, as a kid naturally does, I took on the rules of the spiritual community I was raised in as the way to feel connected to the divine fabric of the universe. In college, I got the opportunity to examine my beliefs and separate out the cultural imprint from what I experienced was the essential truth. It brought me to seeing the beauty of all spiritual paths, and the inherent innocence of erotic aliveness. Meanwhile, I was studying neuroscience and religion, and having my first experience with energy healing. For me, spirituality, science and sexuality have always been intertwined. And I knew that at my heart I was meant to be a healer.

But I had a hard time going straight towards my purpose working with sexuality, and sought simpler, less controversial ways of being a healer. First, I was a massage therapist and energy healer, and that was powerful but I sought more. Next, I tried seminary, looking for a solid job within which I could do healing work, but found that I didn’t want to battle the heady administrative behemoth of mainline christianity, as what I really wanted to do was to help people have earthy, rich rituals that helped them feel more alive.

Back to focusing on bodywork, I wanted to help people get the actual life transformation they were seeking, crossing their fingers that an hour-long massage would do the trick. I learned nervous system regulation techniques people could easily implement in their lives. And I ended up spending a decade learning emotional processing and brain rewiring, relationship skills and life-organization hacks from a meditation teacher who blended science and mysticism. Within this time I became a general life coach and bodyworker, who specialized in helping neurodivergent folks with routines and wellness systems. But people kept seeing me for relationship work.

In all that time, I had been married young and worked through my own fair share of relationship challenges including the two of us figuring out how to detangle decades of sexual repression we had adopted in the evangelical christian purity culture movement. We learned about attachment styles, communication skills, sexual compatibility in style and libido (and all the myriad ways to address it), taoist sexual cultivation practices, relationship structures like polyamory, how to make decisions when you’re both growing and changing (and want to live in different parts of the country, but don’t want to get divorced). You name it, we worked on it. In the process I discovered the powerful tool of sexual pleasure as a way to connect back to oneself and heal one’s nervous system of past undigested stress.

I ended up collecting a toolbox filled with 15 years worth of practices, from the mystical to the scientific, that allows for fundamental transformation—the kind where you look back and can hardly remember what you used to feel like.

And throughout it all, the drive towards helping people have satisfying relationships and sexual life has continued to burn brighter, culminating in completing a 650+ hour, year-long coaching certification as a Sex, Love and Relationship Coach with the VITA method.

I have dedicated my coaching practice to love, sex and relationships because relationships and sexuality are such a potent power in our lives, and most of us are taught to look for a “happily ever after,” yet are miserable because most of us were never taught how to be happy—within ourselves, within relationships and within our sex lives.

It doesn’t have to be so hard. With the right help, the path to relational and sexual satisfaction can be pleasurable and fun.

I believe that we can have the love and pleasure we want, and that the path starts within us.